Once you realize you are in an abusive relationship, it’s utterly hard to get out. Either you lack courage, or you fear for your life.
One way or another, my heart goes to all women who are struggling with finding the courage to leave their abusers.
Many of us can say, “It’s not that hard. It’s perfectly logical—he emotionally or physically abuses you, you get out. It’s as simple as that.” But the reality is much more complicated than that.
No one that has never been in an abusive relationship can comprehend how hard it is to break free from one.
Most women don’t even realize they are being emotionally abused. They’ve been in that kind of a relationship for far too long that they forgot there is another way—a better way.
They forgot they deserved to be treated with respect. They deserved to be treated like human beings.
It is easy to talk about breaking free from an abusive relationship and another thing to actually do it.
If you secretly suffer and fight with the pain your abusive relationship is causing you, bear in mind that you are not alone. You are not weak for being unable to get out. It’s hard. I know and I get it.
Forget about all the fears he’s invoking in you and find the strength to leave him—because you can!
1. Intense jealousy
His jealousy comes from his insecurities. If he was satisfied with himself, he wouldn’t be jealous of anything that you do. He’s jealous of your friends and most importantly, he is jealous of you, your dreams, and your accomplishments because he hasn’t got any of his own.
He’s jealous of you because you are better than him but he makes you think you’re worthless. That’s an abuser’s most powerful weapon.
2. Arguments escalate quickly
Arguments are a part of every normal relationship, but in an emotionally abusive relationship, these arguments become a daily grind. They tend to escalate from nothing.
They appear out of the blue as something completely meaningless and end up being massive and more importantly—endless.
Beware—there will be no warning when a normal conversation will escalate into an intense argument which may result in physical violence.
3. You feel uncomfortable around him
You are in constant fear you’ll do or say something that might trigger him. You’re walking on eggshells around him just to make sure you won’t set him off.
Relationships and love shouldn’t be like that. This, what you are experiencing, is not love nor a healthy relationship. You should feel safe around your partner and not scared.
4. He constantly criticizes you
Nothing that you say or do is good enough. Even though you try to please him because you’re scared he is going to hurt you, or because you think he might change, nothing is good enough for him.
He will always find fault in you. Not because you have one, but because he wants you to have one to make his actions ‘justified’.
5. You’re trying to make him happy
You’re constantly trying to make him happy, at all costs. You’re pretending you’re fine when you’re not just to avoid giving him any reason to get angry.
You’re laughing at jokes which you don’t find funny just to keep everything nice and calm.
You go an extra mile in indulging him so you can be sure he won’t flip out. You find yourself pleading for his happiness and you keep your mouth shut when you are angry and unsatisfied.
6. You can’t get out
You feel like you are in prison and the only person holding the key to your freedom is your partner. He is the one who controls all aspects of your life, making sure you can’t get out.
If you’re feeling trapped, find the courage and just leave.
Due to this emotional hell, you are going through, you start believing that you are the problem.
You start believing you didn’t deserve any better.
Don’t be a fool! Don’t let him make you believe that.
No one deserves this and neither do you.
You are one beautiful person who deserves someone who will love and respect you—nothing less.