The truth is that love takes time and effort because healthy relationships don’t happen overnight. Instead, they usually require many sacrifices and hard work. But it is one thing if you fight your problems side by side with your partner and it is something completely different if you are the only one fighting.
Don’t get me wrong—I am not saying that you should back out of your relationship at the first sight of a problem. I am not telling you to give up whenever a minor inconvenience or disagreement appears. Because love is all about fighting and trying to make things work out.
But it doesn’t mean that you are required to stay with someone who is doing you harm. Because love is not about sticking around someone who is hurting you.
Yes, love is all about forgiveness. But you need to remember that there are some things you should never forgive. That there are some things which stay buried deep inside of you, even if you try to force yourself to forget about them.
Yes, love is all about compromise. But that doesn’t mean you should always be the one to compromise with yourself. That you should be the one who puts your needs aside and the one who makes all the sacrifices.
Yes, love is all about effort. But that doesn’t mean you are required to move mountains for someone who isn’t ready to lift a finger for your sake. That you should be the one who always tries to push things forward and the one who is constantly trying to find the best solution to your problems.
Yes, love is all about improvement. But that doesn’t mean that you should be with someone who tries to mold you his own way or with someone who wants you to fit his standards. It doesn’t mean that you should stick with a partner who wants to change you. Instead, what this means is that you need to be with the one who pushes you forward and who inspires you to become the best possible version of yourself.
Remember—love is never pain. Love is never staying with someone who takes you for granted and it’s never about giving them unlimited chances to hurt you even more. It’s not being with someone who abuses you in any way or with a person who does everything in his power to put you down.
Love will never make you feel insecure or like you are not enough. It’s not love if you have to fight for pieces of someone’s attention or if you have to beg your other half to put you first.
Love is not staying with someone who doesn’t deserve you. It’s not being with a man who treats you like shit or makes your life a living hell. It’s not about waiting for him to change and to come to his senses.
Yes, love is all about being together through thick and thin. It’s all about dealing with challenges and difficulties while holding each other’s hand. It’s about going through life’s journey shoulder to shoulder. And it is all about not leaving someone hanging when times get rough.
But this doesn’t mean that you are required to put up with all the bad things this person might be doing to you, no matter how much you love them. It doesn’t mean that you should forget about all of your deal-breakers and standards or that you should allow them to treat you the way they want, just because you care for them.
Because sometimes, you reach a breaking point. Sometimes, the person you love crosses a line. Sometimes, they start affecting your mental health and you see that they are not good for you. Sometimes, you see that they are bringing you more sadness than joy.
When this happens, the only option you have is to leave. The only option you have is to break free from this toxic relationship. You have to forget about all the history the two of you have together and leave them in the past. Sometimes, you have to choose to save yourself over this person you care so deeply about.
And there is nothing selfish about this. It doesn’t make you weak and you definitely shouldn’t feel guilty about doing it.
Instead, it makes you stronger than you might think because it shows that you had the power to choose your reason over your heart. It shows that you had the power to defeat yourself and to do the right thing. It shows that you were smart enough to know that love should never make your life harder.