Relationships are wonderful, but they are utterly meaningless if they lack any real substance to them. This is from my weekly podcast, “Heart of the Matter,” which you can catch on SoundCloud and iTunes every Monday evening.
I’ve always been someone who has preferred an exclusive relationship to casual dating. Aside from lacking the ability to juggle more than one person in my life, the way I am is simply better suited for being a boyfriend.
I want to have a regular flow of conversation with someone, and not through text messaging. I want to be able to hold someone’s hand, kiss them in public, or take a picture with them without worrying, “Are they okay with this?” I want someone who I can confide in and trust.
Unless I find an excellent match, there is a risk of scaring them off too soon with my behavior. If alter my actions to be more reserved, then I’m not being genuine to her (or myself), and that would be an injustice to both parties.
Being someone who prefers a relationship is not a bad thing, so long as you’re not willing to settle for just any relationship that is presented to you.
A relationship is like anything else — quality matters. Just as you would not want to live in a house or drive a car in poor condition, you should not be willing to settle for a relationship in poor condition simply because you will now have one.
The value of a relationship is directly correlated to the substance it possesses.
What good is a relationship if you and your partner are constantly fighting, complaining about one another, or even breaking up and getting back together?
A relationship should not be treated like that of a fad you will soon bore of, or something you’re doing to pass time; a relationship should be two people who want to grow together, and who help each other to do so.
We all know those people in horribly toxic relationships, and I can never help but see them and think, “Who would want that?” Truthfully, they made me glad to be single.
Who would want to be with someone who is going to bash you publicly on social media, who will trash you to their friends, who will spew vitriol at you, then pretend it all never happened when the storm passes?
When you see the drama-filled relationships through your adolescence and young adulthood, then see what a healthy courtship looks like when you fully mature, it becomes almost baffling why you would ever settle for less than the latter.
The people in my life who have a positive, loving relationship set the standard for what I want out of a relationship. When I see them, I can’t help but think, “Who wouldn’t want that?”
I want to be with someone who makes me a better person and who makes me want to be an even better person.
The difference between an unhealthy, failing relationship and one with vigor and promise is that when the two are faced with the same minor obstacle in front of them, the unhealthy relationship will see it as an immoveable boulder, while the healthy relationship will see it as a pebble they effortlessly kick to the side.
If your partner does not make you the best possible version of yourself everyday, then there really is no point in being with them. Relationships are wonderful, but they are utterly meaningless if they lack any real substance to them.
When it comes to a relationship, quality always matters.