Being single over the holidays can be hard because holiday activities seem to be specifically catered for two: work parties, snowman building, New Year’s Eve. But the holidays can also serve as a magical time to meet someone you really click with.
Getting out of the house over the holidays is the best way to meet someone, so put those dating apps away. There are so many events going on that it would be silly not take advantage and find someone to stand under the mistletoe with.
There are themed parties, office parties, and pop-up events at your local bars. Basically, the sky is the limit when it comes to your opportunities for meeting someone.
In case you aren’t interested in waiting for the holiday festivities to start, we have ways that you can also meet Mr. Right, right now. Again, we suggest ditching the apps and getting out there to meet someone the old-fashioned way.
Check out these 10 ways to meet Mr. Right during the holidays (and 10 ways to meet Mr. Right, right now).
20-Holiday: Accept All Invitations
Pretty simple instructions: when you are invited somewhere: GO. End of story.
Going to lots of events and meeting a lot of new, interesting people is the best possible way to meet your Mr. Right.
“The holiday season is one of the best times to find love because singles are out and about more this time of year — more time off and tons of holiday parties and functions,” says Michal Naisteter, a Philadelphia-based matchmaker with Three Day Rule.
“It’s the time of year when we reflect on the connections and relationships we have in our lives and think about what we want for the upcoming year.”
19-Now: Don’t Wait For Fate To Step In
You might be waiting for serendipity, but that’s not always the way things work. Yes, some people can say that fate brought their significant other to them, but if you are sitting around hoping you’ll be another “chance” love story, you’re going to be single for a long time.
In fact, if the only way to meet someone was by fate, then you probably wouldn’t be single right now! Meeting someone, like anything else in life requires genuine effort; quit waiting for higher forces to step in and take destiny into your own hands.
18-Now: Go Out A Lot
Dating subscribes to very basic logic. If you never get out, then guess how many guys you will meet? Probably as many as are sitting in your apartment right now (zero). On the other hand, getting out of your comfort zone exposes you to all sorts of new people.
You cannot expect to meet “the one” if you never leave your house.
Be seen by as many eligible and qualified bachelors as possible. “Dating is a numbers game,” Dr. Phil says. “The more men you meet, the more likely you will find your special someone.”
17-Holiday: Explore Your City
Not only does this allow you to find new, fun places in your own city but its the best way to connect with fresh faces. The holidays allow for tons of events and activities: Christmas markets for drinking cups of hot apple cider; seasonal ice rinks for learning how to skate; pub crawls, Hanukah celebrations, shopping experiences… the possibilities for Christmas cheer are truly endless.
You can find most of these events on social media, but if you struggle to pin down parties or other occasions, grab some friends and hit the mall, bar, or other places where there are lots of people.
16-Now: Change Up Your Routine
If you haven’t met anyone while hitting the spots from your regular routine, then consider changing things up. Instead of going to lift weights, try a Soul Cycle class. If you always go to the same coffee shop every morning, try a new place.
We love routine because it’s comfortable and safe, but being open to new things is beneficial for every part of your life-including your love life.
Try something different, even if it takes you somewhere completely unexpected. If you don’t meet someone, you may find a whole new passion that enriches your life in other ways.
15-Holiday: Throw A Holiday Dinner Party
Who doesn’t love holiday parties? We all do, of course, but here’s a chance for you to throw a party and control the situation:
Invite a bunch of friends over and encourage them to bring friends from outside of your inner circle. This is a great way to meet new people in an environment that is familiar to you. (It’s also a great way to have your friends screen for weirdos.)
Create a memorable night by incorporating a theme with food, drinks, games and of course mistletoe. You might even get a tradition out of it… and a boyfriend!
14-Now: Ask Your Friends To Set You Up
This doesn’t have to be a complete nightmare as long as you give your friends some ground rules. In other words, they should know what kind of guy you’re interested in and whether you’ll be compatible with him or not. Don’t let acquaintances in on this action.
Send an email to 20 of your friends explaining that you are ready to be set up and outline what you are looking for in a partner.
List your interests or hobbies and ask them if they would be willing to help you out in your quest for love. Even just a quick “hey, know anyone who can be my plus one to [insert event here]?”
13-Holiday: Take A Mini Getaway Somewhere Close By
If you were planning on traveling over the holidays, then this can serve as the perfect opportunity for you to meet someone.
You don’t even have to go for a long period of time. Try booking a chalet for a weekend and see where that adventure takes you. A different place with different people may be exactly what you need to hit the refresh button on your love life.
If you’re only there for the weekend, then it’s likely that your man doesn’t live that far from you. The closer you stay to home, the better your odds of meeting your match!
12-Now: Check Out Target-Rich Environments
What does that mean? Well, simply, go where the guys are. First, determine what kind of guy you are looking for. You should be doing that regardless of where you want to meet someone.
Once you have that established, then think about where this kind of guy would normally hang out.
That is the target-rich environment that you are looking for and now need to immerse yourself in. Now, depending on the kind of guy you want, that environment could be a batting cage, music festival, sporting event, bookstores, coffee shops, or the latest thing out right now: ax throwing!
11-Holiday: Ask Out The Guy That You Work With
If you have been crushing on a guy at work, then your work holiday party is the perfect place to get things started. It’s a place where people relax and let their hair down.
You will likely feel more comfortable talking him up at a work event than during office hours. The only downfall is determining how dating a coworker will affect your work; is he someone from your department? If things go sour, will you be forced to see him often? There are pros and cons to dating someone you work with.
Also, be mindful of your company dating policies; you don’t want to jeopardize your position on a gamble.
10-Now: Make Some Serious Eye Contact
Learn a thing or two from Blake Lively and Ryan Reynolds and give some serious eye contact to potential suitors when you are out and about.
If you start talking to someone at an event or bar, look them in the eyes.
Don’t be shy. Our rule of thumb is to look longer than what makes you comfortable, even if it’s just for a second. Believe it or not, eye contact for more than three and a half seconds indicates interest to the other person. It’s a great way to subtly show you’re interested.
9-Holiday: Take Things Slow
The holidays are first and foremost a festive time to enjoy with friends and family. There is no need to stress yourself out about trying to meet someone. The best thing you can do for yourself is to not put a ton of pressure on the situation.
Take things slow and go at your own pace! And although we recommend going out of your comfort zone, make sure you’re having fun as well. There are a lot of holiday-related things to focus your attention on; if you don’t get a date, chalk it up to bad timing and enjoy the celebrations!
8-Now: Leave Your Comfort Zone
As we said before, it’s really important for you to try new things so that you can meet a different crowd. “By now you should realize that your ordinary hangout isn’t the place to meet extraordinary men,” says Dr. Phil.
Find new passions and use this to increase your social life.
“Go to places you’d enjoy even if you weren’t looking for the love of your life,” he explains. The great part about this is it pretty much guarantees you’ll have things in common with the people you encounter.
“As long as you’re really into what you’re doing, you’re going to give off a cool, passionate vibe that makes you seem like the catch of the day.”
7-Holiday: Don’t Overdo It
There are going to be a lot of holiday parties and events going on and we know the drinks will be flowing. And it’s okay to partake and have a few drinks, but if you really want to make a genuine connection (and one that you will remember in the morning), then we would recommend not getting plastered. A couple of drinks can give you the courage you need to make a move. Just don’t go overboard or you aren’t even going to remember if you met your soulmate or not. You want a guy to remember your charm, not how he had to hold your hair back.
6-Now: Go Out With Different People
You need to mix up your friends every now and then.
If you are always going out with the same crew, that could be why you aren’t meeting anyone.
But also, we recommend that you don’t go out alone either, as it’s not really safe. Try and find an even middle, with one or two other single friends.
“Guys are less likely to come over if they feel they’ve got an audience,” Dr. Phil explains. “They don’t want to get rejected in front of four or five staring women.”
So don’t always go out with a group of people. “Often, different people bring out different aspects of our personalities,” Dr. Phil shares.
5-Holiday: Make Sure You Enjoy Yourself
The main thing you need to remember when it comes to the holidays is to enjoy yourself. Don’t let the idea of meeting someone be all consuming.
Take in the cheesy decorations and all the holiday trimmings because it’s the Christmas season. Enjoy the vibes and you’ll attract positive people.
If you just let loose and enjoy yourself, then you are going to appear more enticing to the people around you. Have fun and someone might enjoy seeing you have fun.
4-Now: Have A Strategy In Place
Now that you are going out and doing new things and meeting new people, you should have a strategy in place on what to say and how.
If you are prepared in advance, then you won’t have to worry about getting flustered when your soulmate approaches you.
“If you know what to reveal about yourself or how to start the conversation, you’ll come off confident and self-assured,” Dr. Phil suggests. If you have a plan ahead of time, then you won’t have to worry about coming up with the right thing to say on the spot.
3-Holiday: Go Out After Work
Happy hour is great whether it’s the holidays or not, but things tend to get more festive during the season. The great thing about the holidays between November and January is that there are a lot of office parties that take place in your local bars.
If you are hanging out at the bar, or even an attached restaurant during these functions, then you have the opportunity to meet new (working) dudes.
They wouldn’t normally be there, so it will bring in new crowds you wouldn’t normally have seen. Most companies don’t travel two or three cities away for work parties, so odds are good the guys will be local.
2-Now: Have Opening Questions Prepared
Again, this is a situation where it’s always best to be prepared. If you at an event or party and you meet someone you should have some opening questions ready.
Sometimes it can be hard to get a conversation rolling with a stranger.
“One of the most important things I can tell you is that people truly love to be the focus of attention,” Dr. Phil says. The best thing that you can do is come up with ten questions that can lead to a conversation in the right way. It’s a great way to take pressure off yourself.
1-Holiday: Accept Your Family’s Suggestions
Sometimes it’s hard to stomach Thanksgiving or Christmas dinner when you know your relatives will be asking about your potential partner.
And while we get that it’s frustrating to be deemed the “old maid” of the family before age 30, their hearts are in the right place.
So this holiday season, consider accepting a blind date with your aunt’s bridge partner’s nephew or your grandma’s neighbor’s pool boy. You never know who you might meet and what it could lead to (except hopefully fewer questions from prying relatives).